i feel

as though
i ripped off my toe

...but not really...
...i just really, really
want to know...

why i go
through motions and go
through hoops and try
not to let it die...

for what for why
for why do i try
for why do you try
why don't we just die and lie and try,
...i sigh...

where next?
we're vext
we all have some pretext
some pretext some pretense
for going on the defense
whenever we hear
the things that we fear
and whenever it's easier to sleep.

it's always easier to sleep.
sometimes i just want to sleep,
to sleep, and nothing else,
to dream and nothing else,
to hide and nothing else,
to burn down this whole fuckin thing and annihilate this whole fucking thing,
and nothing else,
to sleep soundly and softly and deeply and nothing at all ever else,
to be somewhere
where there
is only the air that i breathe and
the ground beneath and in between my toes and
the birds in the trees and
the waves on the shore and
the stars in the sky and
the fire that doesn't die and
to be somewhere
where there
is a place to sleep.

Just for a while.

Only for a while.

And then we'll see...

What happens next, we'll see...

If only I wasn't awake...