Veisalgia

Stuff that's ridiculous

2006-10-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Timmy is your soulmate.

You truly love Rachel.

You consider Brooke your true friend.

You know that Yun Jin is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Shyla for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Jessica is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Rusty is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Brad is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Brad changes lovers faster than underwear.

You Are Tofu

Okay, so you aren't exactly meat. And that's fine with you. Even if people think you're a bit bland.
There's a good chance you're veg - and even if you aren't, you secretly think meat is gross.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You're a total rebel who doesn't conform to any rules. P.S. - It's a jungle down there!

You're also way too lazy to do your laundry more than a few times a year.

The Underwear Oracle

Who Should Paint You: Salvador Dali

You're a complex, intense creature who displays many layers.
There's no way a traditional portrait could ever capture you!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Are The Hulk

Super strong and super scary, you were never meant to be a superhero.
You're not really into saving the world. And the world better get out of your way.

What Superhero Are You?

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

36........This one's for you, Rustikoph...

2006-10-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

Apparently (<-- Lemmy from Motorhead, long story), today is July 4th. It appears that this might be the first year in several that I don't torch a flag on this day. Ah well... 3 cheers for Imperialism:

Hail! Hail! Hail!

So, tonight I guess we're playing at this place called The Witch House, which both The Melvins *AND* Nirvana have played at in the past. Pretty sweet. everyone's still pretty much sleepy... 11:30... hooray for being back in PST. I'm tired.

...

So, we pretty much just hung out around Tim's house all day, ate some food, picked up some beer, read some star wars books, watched some LOTR, ya know, hung out. The show was rad. This band Shewolf opened, and they were sort of like in the vein of Kathleen Hannah and Sleater-Kinney. Sounded pretty good, and it was only their second show. We played next and had a pretty good set, people were digging us so it was fun. Hook and the Daggers played last, and this was the most turned out of all of the times I've seen them play. Tim was drunk, which helped, but the whole set was just total ruckus. The show turned into a 4th of July party, and debauchery ensued. Apparently, real fireworks are legal in Olympia only on the 4th of July, so there were fireworks going up all over the city (we were on a hill so we could see most of the city), and soon enough there were roman candles being fired out of buttholes, bottle rockets being fired from crotches, mortars being hand launched and all manners of other fabulous idiocy. There was a dance party on the roof of the van, there was a dance party in the house to George Michael's Faith and Eye of the Tiger on 45's being played at 33rpms. Nate wore a toga comprised of two american flags which were later burnt (leaving Nate naked), which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and there were all kinds of brilliant interviews for the documentary. Eventually, we managed to leave as the party was dying down, so we went back to Tim's for some Street Fighter II and sleep...

So, I decided to blog again...

2006-10-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

I totally don't even know if I have time for such things, but we shall see...

For starters, Pandora rules. Here are some bad-ass badns I've discovered from this phenomenal little site:

Irepress
Dirty Three
M83
Pieter K
DJ Trax
David Grubbs
Transformer Man
Russian Circles
Soulfood & Ra Music
Time Is Up
Gerd
The Mercury Program
Six Parts Seven
Precious Fathers

Check them out. Sweet. So, what's happened... I got tired of doing my tour blog, becuase all of my entries were really long... sorry duders... I'll give a synopsis of the remaining 30 some-odd days if you want... So what's new.

July

Lot's of road-tripping. Beach camping, fun. Oh, and I went to Seattle for the Capitol Hill Block Party. And, The Murder City Devils played. And I saw them. OHMYFUCKINGGOD!! It was incredible. I can die a little less pissed now.

August

Hmm... end of summer. Boo. Oh yah! Libertatia. Jeeeezus Christ. 4 days of drunken insanity like nothing else. It was like heaven. We all had serious withdrawals this year. So many sweet ass bands played, it was absolutely amazing. Then school started. And the women's center. Woo...

So, anyway, I'm blogging again, and I'm not nearly done with my update. More later...

Tour Day 6

2006-08-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

So, today at some point we're going to El Paso. We're going to leave some t-shirts & shit for Michelle and Andy, since we drank like 84 of their beers and ate hell of their food. Everyone seemed to get along with my family pretty well, what with Andy being all punk rock and such, so that was good. All in all, fun stay, can't wait till they move back to California.

Yah. Helluva a drive to El Paso. We had this sweet hunt for a Taco Bell that spanned two cities in New Mexico and 3 or 4 locations before we finally found one that was still open at like 11pm on a Sunday. Luckily at the one we did find, there was a Sonic right across the street, so we got sweet ass slushies. And, of course, what does one do with a slushie? Add vodka. Lots of vodka. At this point, Naters had to start driving, and we began our quest for beer, which was far more epic than the search for T-Bell, spanning 2 different states and about 5 locations. The New Mexico stores were closed, being Sunday, and the gas stations had super expensive beer. Walgreen's wasn't selling, but they said there was eber for sale in El Paso, so naturally we headed there straight away, being only a half hour or so away at this point. Of course, stores were already closed (Sunday) by the time we did get there, and when we finally found an open gas station that actually had beer, and reasonably priced beer at that, the kid @ the register informed us that legally he couldn't sell it to us because it was too late. . . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! We all almost cried. We almost convinced him with our puppy dog eyes, but alas, to no avail.

There was nothing left to do now except drive, so we headed out towards Carlsbad. It's getting really late at this point, mind. In fact, it was like about 3 am when we rolled up to this border patrol checkpoint just back into New Mexico. The guard came out, and the first thing he said was "What are you guys doing?" He let us through no problem, he was just totally bewildered by our presence. We finally pulled over at this little picnic areafor the night. It was actually a really cool spot. I always forget how many stars you can see in the middle of nowhere. Completely beautiful. There were foxes and rats and such in our headlights when we pulled in, coyotes howling all around us from time to time, and groups of bats chirping in the trees around us. Naters passed out, but the rest of us required strong drink. We finished the last of the Absolut, and broke out the Tanqueray. After failing to acquire beer, we stopped and got Sprite so we talked and drank heck of gin. Scribs broke out his DVD player and we watched Master of the Flying Guillotine and drank. At one point the border patrol guy from the check point is cruising down the road, brakes, flips a U and rolls on us. He just drove by and said "Howdy!" out the window as he passed... Odd, these country types... Anyways, after the movie, I was pretty much done, so to the van I went. These other bastards stayed up to watch the sun finish rising, and so ended Day 6.

Tour Day 5

2006-08-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

So, the guy we drank with after the show last night was going to try and get us a show in Tucson for tonight, so we kicked it @ Michelle and Andy's all afternoon, waiting for him to call. We ended up rolling to this Del Taco for breakfast, and couldn't bring ourselves to leave the A/C for like an hour and a half. It was like 115 in Phoenix.
So, we have like these four consecutive days with no shows, so we had to figure out what to do with ourselves. We went back to my cousins' to make some sort of "least-suck-as-possible" plan of action. It looks like we're staying with them again tonight, heading to El Paso tomorrow, Carlsbad the next day, then Texas, then Austin.
So after we figured all that out, we went to join Michelle and Andy and the girls at the pool for swimming, drinking, and BBQ. Effin sweet. We hung out for like 4 or 5 hours and got a little tanked. After all that we went back to the apartment, watched the MCD DVD, drank another 30 beers or so, BBQ'd some more, and played Zombies which ended in Rachel and Brad hating each other and fighting over the couch as well.
Michelle and Andy and I figured out that we'd all gotten busy on the same couch (<-- crazy!).
At that point, we were all pretty drunk and tired - it was like 2 in the morning, drinking since like 5 in the afternoon, so we all turned in. Threw on the Big L, had some laughs, and passed the fuck out.

Tour Day Four

2006-07-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

and we're going to Arizona today. It's like 75 degrees in San Diego, but apparently it's like 110 in Phoenix. Fuckin sweet. We're playing at this record shop, and my cousins Michelle and Andy should be there.

Long ass drive to Phoenix. Hella hot. To keep the van from overheating, most of the time we have to run the heater, so, sometimes it's like 110 outside, no A/C, and the heaters running full blast. Totally sweet. But we got here. The show was the best yet. We played like shit, but the kids loved it. Everyone dancing and cheering and what not. We sold a bunch of merch, and this dude gave us a bunch of money for gas, which was very nice. After the show, these two chicks (like 16 years old) came up to me and told me how much Gruk rocked and me personally as well, and the first one wanted me to sign her pants and the other wanted me to sign her shirt. She said anywhere and motioned to her chest, but I'm thinking, "dude, I'm not gonna sign your tits." I signed her shoulder and the other one's thigh, and they were happy. Ridiculous, these kids...

Anyway, Michelle and Andy couldn't make the show, which sucked, and neither could The Fuck You Ups (<-- rad band from Phoenix area), so the lodging factor was sketchy. We drank behind the venue with this dude from Conflict Resolution who had like an 18 pack for us to drink - pleasant surprise! After that we cruised to Michelle and Andy's - they were hella down for us to stay with them. Fuck yeah for the A/C. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with these two. The girls are getting so big too. Anyway, we stayed up drinking until like 4 in the morning, and finally had to pass the fuck out.

Tour Day 3, or June 1st, according to el calendario...

2006-07-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

We went first off to this sweet ass totally underground record store, where the guy gave us contact info for this underground wherehouse that he runs. He was pretty rad and said he'd book us a hella better show next time we come through. Also he bought like 10 of our records. It's crazy - he asked what band we're in, and when we said Gruk, he was all "yeah, I've heard of you guys" - fuckin nuts! The store was so DL that you had to knock on this door and he'd come out and make sure you weren't some fuckhead before he'd let you in... crazy...
Then we had to go get a new tire for the van, which took for days. So finally at like 2 or 3 we were ready to get on the road, which meant no beach (weak!), and no checking out the sweet urban farm (lame!).
We rolled to Escondido. Not too far from Long Beach. When we were almost there, we stopped at this Fry's to fuck around in the A/C for awhile. Pretty sweet. They had this killer Donkey Kong drumming game for the Gamecube, some totally disappointing games for the Xbox 360, and then me and Nate had this totally rad Dance-Dance-Revolution tournament, right there in the store. I pretty much kicked his ass. Right after that, we got a phone call from the guy who booked the show saying that the show was cancelled. Hella lame. Hooray for the first of several cancelled shows. So we said fuck it and rolled to San Diego to hang out with the infamous Josh Mosh and Ken Swagger. Ken is the guy who started the massive San Diego pirate radio station. Josh is just this cool dude who does cool shit and so forth. Also they live above a tweaker bar. Ha! There's this sweet Mexican food joint across from their place though - cheap and hella good and the last decent Mexican food I'll get to eat until I get back to Chico. We played some Atari, Nate killed me at Centipede, and I killed him at Pong and Pitfall. We cruised to this bar that had like medieval weapons on all of the walls, and hecka chess boards all over the place. It was pretty boring, especially since Scribles kicked my ass at chess. Fucker. Rachel and Nate ditched us and went to this other bar with this guy they know, so me and Brad and Scribles took the van and went back to Ken and Josh's house to watch the Warriors. And drink. And no, Rachel and Nate didn't mind getting lost and having to walk a mile and a half while drunk to get back to the apartment. I promise...
Now it's...

Tour Day 2

2006-07-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

Me & Nate & Brad woke up at like 8:30 this morning. It was a bit warm in the van. We rolled to Walgreen's down the block and fully destroyed their bathrooms. So, we hung out in the van for days, then started waking up Rachel and Scribs. Eventually they woke up and we peaced the hell out of Fresno. Good riddance. Dude I reeked so bad of smoke after that place, I had to change shirts on day 2.
So we were crossing the Grapevine heading towards L.A., Scribs was driving. All of a sudden, fuckin hella loud noise and we see a piece of the tire fly off - then the van starts fishtailing. Scribs handled the situation like a pro and maneuvered to the shoulder. None of us died. Stupid us left the tire irons in Chico, so we had to call AAA. In the meantime, me and Nate explored the hill we were parked by. Apparently, some car had gotten in some fucked up crash there, because we found two rearview mirrors, a hella broken rear windshield, a piece of the crankshaft, some CDs, a fender, a hubcap, etc...

So yeah, the tire blew and AAA came and changed it for us, after which we rolled. Now I'm driving, dealing with the stupidness of L.A. We eventually make it here, the Kashmir Cafe in Southgate. And no I didn't get us lost on the way. I knew exactly where the fuck I was going at all times. Dammit. We scored some burritos down the street, and have been here chillin in the A/C and enjoying the free internet service. Show starts in an hour and 20.

Part II

Show was ok. It's always weird playing in coffee shops and such. There were like 15 people there, all sitting down. Riot This was pretty sweet - they'll be on the 4 way split CD we're putting out with All or Nothing later this summer. They told us about this 14 acre farm in L.A. that feeds 200 families that the city gifted to the community after the '92 riots. Apparently, the city just sold it but is giving the farm a chance to buy it out for $16 million. Fuckin ridiculous. So there's people there like 24-7 guarding it with like militia style maneuvers and shit. We were going to crash there, but they locked the gates before the show was over. We ended up going to this co-op house in Long Beach, and stayed up drinking and playing Star Wars trivia all night. Pretty sweet. Nate scored a Jedi cloak from this kid there, we watched Star Wars III, and passed out.

Tour memoir

2006-07-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

I figure I should write at least something about tour since I promised a blog extravaganza and what have you. I don't think I'll do every day's entry, but I'll start with day one and see what happens from there. Hope you enjoy.

Day 1

We left Chico today. We lagged of course, maybe got out of town by like one or something - after the obligatory taco truck stop. I mean, 6 weeks with no burritos? Had to stock up. We rolled to Fresno. Groadie indeed had hamster bladder issues, but we still got ehre early. We hung out for a couple of hours at Lonnie's ( <-- Straight Edge Kegger) House ( <-- where the show was). Nate broke edge by accidentally sipping a beer within the first 15 minutes. Sweet. There were only two bands, Lonnie's side project - Hate Process, and us, and not many people showed up, but whatever, it's a Tuesday in Fresno. We played a decent set. Hecka kids requested a Botox performance, which was kind of awkward, but what can you do. Kids dug us, Brad put a hole in the ceiling, the night progressed. We drank. Me and Scribles rolled with Lonnie to Taco Hell for burritos, which was key, even though they're not real burritos, and then we came back and drank, and Lonnie threw on our new 7", which was sweet. So, it's barely midnight, and Nate's been passed out for days, and Brad got super wasted and passed ot a while ago. I'm sittin outside, drinkin and writin and Scribs and Rachel are inside doing whatever. Fair tour kickoff. Manana we roll to L.A., Southgate actually, to play a show and hang out with Rene and Jared from All or Nothing. Those kids rock so it should be fun. Relatively uneventful day one, no major ruckus of any sort, & we shall see what tomorrow holds in store for us.

Part II

So, we killed all the beer, so me and Scribs and Rachel rolled to this gas station to get more. Lonnie said it was right around the corner, which apparently in Fresno means like a mile and a half down the road. On the way back, me and Scribs started fighting about something... don't remember what it was (I may have been wasted), & he tried to hit me in the nuts with the beer, and then he tried to kick me in the dick, so I threw him into a fence and he dropped the beer and the box ripped and beer went everywhere. Ha! Anyways, we gathered the beer, rolled abck to Lonnie's, talked drank, I went and passed out in the van, The End. Oh, and Lonnie, if you read this, sorry about not sleeping in your house - didn't want to fuck up the socializing.

We're Ba-aack...

2006-07-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

So we're officially back in Chico. Tomorrow is our homecoming show... sorry i haven't been able to update while on the road; no time, you understand...

Now that I'm back I'll posting tales of glorious and not-so-glorious tour ruckus and debauchery from all over this land we call the you ess of ay. Stay tuned...

Gruk motherfucker what!!

*hee-hee*

Summer Tour Time!

2006-05-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

To all of my legions of avid fans (<-- see how funny I am):

1. School's out for summer

2. Work's out for summer

3. The weather is rad

4. The livin's easy

and...

5. Gruk Summer Tour '06 begins.... TOMORROW!

As such, I'll be away from computer/blogging access for most of the time. You may be thinking, "oh, but, dude, you hardly ever update anyways", and, if this is what you're thinking, you'd be right. HOWEVER. As this summer tour will assuredly be loaded down with oodles of phenomenally fantastical tales of ruckus and debauchery, I will be doing my best to catalogue the events as they unfold.

I will be maintaining a written account of our adventures aboard the Vantichrist, and whenever I have an opportunity, I will transfer these musings to the blogosphere for your perusal.

Just as a preview:

Gruk, consisting or Rachel Loveless, The Duke, Scribles, and myself, The Rev, or in Gruk speak, Hipmo, wil be embarking on a six week tour of the continental United States, beginning tomorrow morning and ending on about July the 11th.

Nathaniel Forever, AKA The Groadie (<-- Gruk + Roadie = Groadie) wil be accompanying us on this journey as our roadie, to save us from certain doom, and make sure that we don't die.

We will be visiting such exotic locales as -Shreveport, Louisiana, -Fargo, North Dakota, -Chicago, -Baltimore, -Savannah, Georgia, -Austin, Texas, and even quick trip over the border to Juarez, Mexico.

We have recently tricked out the Vantichrist with a brand spankin new homemade loft for us to sleep on, a flat panel TV, a DVD player, a Nintendo, and DC converters so we can plug shit in. Fuck yeah.

We have an ice chest full of goodies, all of our essential gear, and tons of fun shit to go along with the rest.

We just finished out brand spankin new 7" (200 of them), 100 T-shirts, 75 black and 25 pink, and 100s of stickers and buttons, all of which we will be distributing across the nation.

Stay tuned for more stories of Gruk madness, updated as regularly as possible over the next month and a half.

First stop: Fresno, California

For more info about tour dates, check Gruk's Myspace page.

See you in July!

the eve of older

2006-05-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

tonight, at precisely 12:00am (midnight), aka 1 hour and 39 minutes by the clock i'm looking at, i'll will become older.

i'm starting to have aging issues...

my youth is quietly (well, not SO quietly) slipping away...

many of my friends are older, and they are still young... it should be ok...

i asked my roommate - 'how was 25?'

she replied - 'much like 24 and 26...'

...how brilliant...

"I'm gonna stay young till I die!!!"
- 7 Seconds

i feel

2006-04-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

as though
i ripped off my toe

...but not really...
...i just really, really
want to know...

why i go
through motions and go
through hoops and try
not to let it die...

for what for why
for why do i try
for why do you try
why don't we just die and lie and try,
...i sigh...

where next?
we're vext
we all have some pretext
some pretext some pretense
for going on the defense
whenever we hear
the things that we fear
and whenever it's easier to sleep.

it's always easier to sleep.
sometimes i just want to sleep,
to sleep, and nothing else,
to dream and nothing else,
to hide and nothing else,
to burn down this whole fuckin thing and annihilate this whole fucking thing,
and nothing else,
to sleep soundly and softly and deeply and nothing at all ever else,
to be somewhere
where there
is only the air that i breathe and
the ground beneath and in between my toes and
the birds in the trees and
the waves on the shore and
the stars in the sky and
the fire that doesn't die and
to be somewhere
where there
is a place to sleep.

Just for a while.

Only for a while.

And then we'll see...

What happens next, we'll see...

If only I wasn't awake...

So

2006-04-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

it's been a while... It's cold and grey outside, much like it is inside, much like it is on the other side of nowhere. Wither the sun? Thither? Yon? Gone? We should be so lucky.

hello. hello.. hello....

2006-02-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

is there anybody out there?

just nod if you can hear me...

does anybody read these things any more?

so, we tried the KRS-One thing again, and this time, the contracts are signed! as of today, it is official i am bringing KRS-One to Chico on March 23rd. um, fuck yeah!

well now then

2006-01-29T10:18:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i posted. my bad.

i somehow forgot about two crucial things from seattle:

1.) EXTREME FOOSBALL

2.)The Omelette.

Extreme foosball is quite possibly the greatest new variety of foosball in the history of the universe EVER. There are two varieties. Madness and Multiball. Yes, the two can be combined, for ultimate level EXTREME foosball challenge action. Multiball is probably self-explanatory, but in case it's not: you have an extraneous person (referree/announcer type) stand by, and at random intervals in the game, this person yells 'EXTREME!' and starts chucking foosballs onto the pitch. three balls on the table at once is optimal, but more or less to taste of course. all goals scored during multiball are valid. now, Madness on the other hand is totally insane. you have one bystander positioned at either end of the pitch. all of sudden, with a bloodcurdlign 'EXTREME!', the two pick up the table and start waving it around, so it's like trying to play foosball while the table is on a rollercoaster and you're standing still. essentially the two people waving the table are trying to keep anyone from scoring, but very subtlely, because it looks and feels like total chaos. and then, when you combine the two it's .... !!!!!!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTREME!!!!!!!!

'nuff said.

as for The Omelette, that story will have to wait...

but, like i was saying, more or less the band played on. we rolled to Crovallis, Oregon, and played a kick ass show at this homeless/kids shelter with like our favorite band to play with ever, The Wobblies. Probably the best show on tour. A bunch of kids who were really excited about seeing a punk rock show turned out, and there was this one kid that saw Gruk play their worst (best?) show in history at Libertatia this past summer and loved it, so he was all amped on seeing us again. After the show, we proceeded to roll to one of Ty (Wobblies' drummer)'s friends' houses, and DRINK! we plowed through like 3+ cases of beer, some tequila, and random other shit. fuckin-a. the next day we cruised back to chico for a night at home, in bed. nice.

following this, we rolled to reno for a show up there, which was alright. it was in the basement of this cool collective's house, but hardly anyone showed up, and we got into some serious band drama with the PAWNS, but we don't really need to go into that. suffice it to say, it sucked. so we ended up not staying at Cam from Dog Assassin's (<-- sweet band) house, we had to drive all the was to Truckee to stay with Rachel (Gruk singer's ) brother. that was cool though. he was a pretty cool dude. we drank hella beer and wine and got him all fucked up so he had to call in to work all sick-like the next day. HA! Gruk mutherfucker, what? Do something! that's what i thought...

anyways, we came back to chico again, and played a really rockin show at the hell house. tons of people showed up, we all played well, everyone had a good time, shit was tight.

we had a day off, then rolled to LA for one last show. Fuck LA. i hate that place. we stayed with this couple whose names escape me at the moment. she was like a total horror goddess, so i got a nice infusion of horror culture while i was there. the show was at this sports bar, so we had to wait till the stupid football game was over for the show to start. so what do we do? we walk to the gas station, acquire beer and sit in the van, parked right infront of the door to the bar, and start drinking. at some point me and brad rolled to the christian shit store nearby to check it out. we marvelled at the idiocy of this culture. i wanted to cause some rucks, but i figured i should save that for after the show. oh well. the was cool, there were like 7 bands. fuckin nuts! most of the we're pretty cool. show went well, kids liked us, we rolled back, watched the seed of chucky (oh My GOD!), passed out, rolled to chico town the next day, and that was that. tour kicked ass. i was slightly depressed for a few days after i got back. as much shit as my band gave me for being a newbie, and as much stupid badn drama with the PAWNS went down, we still had a lot of fuckin fun, and there;s nothing like playing music every night for a different crowd. i'm hooked. summer tour is going to stretch from May 29 to July 10th, and span the entire goddamn country. it... is going... to ROCK! til next time...

on touring

2006-01-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

hmm. well, i was going to update, but now i'm not so sure. seattle, olympia, corvallis, reno and chico. that's a bunch. hmm...

well, seattle was cool. we played at this club like 50 yards from the space needle or something, and there was a good turnout, shit was tight. i was all sick and shit, but whatever. the first band, the flux capacitors, were cute new wave punk rock. kinda fun, the dude a badass pointy black guitar with bat wings. we played next and ripped shit up. this guy came up to us after the show and told us that we are his new favorite band, which is pretty fuckin cool, and he's all stoked to bring his band to chico to play with us now. the last band, bristle, was supposed to be hella cool and shit, and they were billed as harcore punk rock, but actually they were kina lame. they were about diametrically opposite of what hardcore is, even when they were like 'this next song is our harcore song', they were still hella not hardcore. ah well. as for their sound, they were really generic i thought, and i was just thoroughly not impressed. i guess they're good at what they do though, which is play songs for durnk people in bars. that crowd digs them. also they're dicks about money. fuck them.

olympia was cool. we stayed with this dude tim who was in one of the bands playing 'hook and the daggers'. it was tim's birthday, so it was looking to be a bunch of fun. we played at this wierd little art place that had shows called the yes yes, and it was looking like 5 people were going to show up, and then we started playing (after an argument with the PAWNS about who was going first) and like hecka people randomly appeared from out of nowhere. the set was good, and i really liked hook and the daggers. they'll be coming to chico in february, and i'm pretty stoked to hear them again. we partied all night, but tim had to work at like noon so we all had to peace the fuck out. gruk got rollin a little sooner than everyone else, and we were on our way to corvallis, to play the show we had all been looking forward to... to be continued...

tour day ... i don't know what day it is

2006-01-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

so, we played tacoma, washington, night before last, at this bar called Hell's Kitchen. the place was pretty sweet - like a total rock bar. also they had like this killer stage and lights and a rad sound system. i think that was the first time that i've ever played on a real stage. i mean, the sound guy had like all of my drums mic-ed. totally sounded sweet.

except there wasn't anybody there to hear it. i think there was like 5 people in the adience other the PAWNS and Vals. ah well, they gave us free dinner and some free drinks, so shit was tight.

except the last band that played, who cares, which was like the house band or something. so completely offensive. they were like this anti-pc band, except they weren't witty or funny in the least bit. they were thoroughly misogynist, homophobic, and racist too. i wanted to shoot them all in the face pretty much. and of course, we ended up staying at one of their houses. his name was blue-haired dave. now, dave can be best described how brad put it - an ex-hippy trying to get down the whole punk rock thing, but not doing such a hot job at it. he was like late 30s, with long blue hair. but, all lameness aside, he did let 13 people in 3 bands stay at his house, which was pretty nice of him. he even supplied us with beer. sweet!

i only got like 4 hours of sleep that night though, because brad's stupid fuckin alarm went off at 8 in the goddamned morning and i couldn't fall back asleep. so, by like 11 or something i had already walked to safeway and gotten breakfast, and then brad woke up, and i wanted to get the fuck out of dodge, so we jumped in the van while rachel and scribs were still in their sleeping bags and shit and bailed the fuck out.

we rolled to borders bookstore, read for a while, then mobbed to seattle. seattle seems pretty cool, except all the fuckin rain. we wandered around to music shops trying to get brad and scribs amps fixed, but no such luck. we ended up finding this guy who was like totally knowledgable about amps and shit and he said that they are both completely fried. very shitty. brad's amp was like $1000. so, for the rest of tour we're going to have to use the PAWNS equipment. i feel really bad for brad and scribs. it was heartbreaking, like being at a funeral or something.

we sat around in a taco bell for like an hour and a half, and then we rolled to this guy terri's house that everyone else knows. he's pretty cool, since we called up out of the blue and he let us crash at his pad. we just sat around and got drunk last night pretty much, and played hella foosball. i went to sleep pretty early last night, like 1 and now im up. tonight we're playing at the funhouse with 4 other bands, so it should be a rockin show.

except im feeling like im getting sick. fuck that. so, i think we might hit up a record store today, and then play music and get drunk some more. i'm not sure where were stayingf tonight, but, we'll find somewhere. well, i gotta get off terri's computer, so peace out, and until next time.

Tour, Day 2

2006-01-05T10:57:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was day one of tour. we drove for like a thousand million hours, but finally got to portland after about 9 hours of travel. Dude! when we got to Rogue River, Oregon, which was our first pitstop, the four of us were standing around by the van, and this truck drives by, and this guy leans out the window and yells:

"Get out of town!" *pause* "Freaks!"

HAH!!! That shit was hilarious! I didn't know they still made people like that. crazy...

so we played at this bar called The Jolly Inn. pretty sweet. they gave us each four free Pabsts, which was also sweet. this dude with like enormous chops was the bartender, and he had a penchant for butt rock, which wasn't so sweet. so P.A.W.N.S. played first, they rocked. we played second, and this is how it went down:

before the first song: rachel's mic fucks up.
1st song: Scrib's guitar amp goes out.
2nd song: Scrib's guitar amp goes out again, AND Brad's bass amp starts HELLA smoking.
after wards: we use P.A.W.N.S. equipment, and i thoroughly butcher like 3 songs.

we finally finished the set, and it seemed like everyone was pissed off, so i went and chillaxed outside for a while, then i came back in and avoided my band and talked to zeke for a while, then i went back to the band and shit was tight again. i had to drive home, but yes, i did use all of my free drinks. sorry. i totally wasn't drunk though. 2 beers, rock and sweat, two more beers, over like 5 or 6 hours. also i drank water. anyways we drove to the altarboys house (they're the band that set up the show, and they were pretty rockin, except for having some sexist and homophobic lyrics) and partied there until like 4 in the morning. also: important sidenote- they sell 40s of PBR here!!! OH MY GOD!!! i had to have one. anywyas, today we drive to tacoma, washington, which is only like 2.5 hours, so we have plenty of time to find a music store and try and fix brad and scribs' shit, and also check out a record store, and also go to vegan breakfast (i hope) with P.A.W.N.S. and the Vals (band from holland - other band we're touring with). well, ima go finish my tea and see if my band is awake yet. don't know when i'll have internet access again, so i'll update when i can. peace

Tour

2006-01-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for tour! Woooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I'll update when possible. Peace

T-minus 12 hours

2006-01-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

i have like 12 hours left until i leave texas. almost home. these last few days here have been sort of wack, sort of ok. blah.

my stupid biological grandfather pulled me aside on new year's eve and told me that by referring to his wife by her first name, i was being very disrespectful and he doesn't appreciate it, so, since he loves her very much, even though she's not my real grandfather it would be nice if i called her grandma. to which i simply reminded him that the two of them are both still very new to me, since i've only known them for like 2 and a half years now. maybe i should have told him how i think maybe it was a bit disrespectful for him to beat the shit out of my mom and her siblings when they were kids, making them all fucked in the head, and making my mom and her sister carry his shit over to their kids. fucker. i still can't get over how the first words this asshole ever said to me in my entire life, the first time i met him 2.5 years ago, were, after he tugs on my earring and while patting my head, were "how you doin' little girl?" GOD i could shoot that bastard in the face. note to self - fuck people.

my dad, through a wierd sequence of events, came up on like a $2000 entertainment system today for free, which was sweet. me and my sister spent like 2 hours setting up everything and making it all work, and when my mom comes home, after talking for the last two weeks about how she wanted to get a new entertainment system this year, all she can do is complain about how long it's going to take her to learn everything, and tell us how we're going to have to redo the setup because she doesn't like the way it works. fuckin whatever.

my family has been playing a bunch of that game cranium lately, which is pretty fun, and me and my sister have been completely undefeated, because that's how we roll and we totally rule like that, until this morning, my punk-ass little brothers came back from behind to pull an upset victory over us. ri-goddammned-fuckin-diculous.

basically, i'm going to miss my family on individual levels, but i really can barely handle them all together at once. it's been really rad hangin out with everyone, but i can't wait to go home. no more church for a year, no need to watch my language, more alcohol, friends, music, my drums, good movies, california, my band, good food (i'm friggin starving out here!), linguistics, art, the dub-c, less having to explain why i am the way i am (which is good and bad), basically, fresh air, my own environment which is much more conducive to my personal growth (regardless of all of my rants about stagnance and things being shitty, it is much better than it could be). all i need is the annual dose of texas to re-energize me and make me remember to appreciate the things i already have in chico. word. well, i'll be seeing y'all soon - except you, yjc :).

Ride 'em, Cowgirl!

2005-12-25T13:52:00.000-08:00

I'm in Texas.

Texas sucks.

I'm in Texas.

There're flags in the church.

This place should burn.

They think women who read the bible in service should incur god's wrath.

I'm in Texas.

They want me to re-join the flock.

Their vision is narrow.

Their tradition is a juggernaut.

They're afraid.

Afraid of change.

"We prefer the medieval way of being", one of them told me.

Theocratic Fascism is a lauded ideal.

I'm in Texas.

I'm in Texas.

I'm in Texas.

I'm afraid.

On updating...

2005-12-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

apparently, my public needs updates from my life, so here they be. SIKE!!

j/k

sort of...

i'm into mix cds right now. i think i might give everyone in my family those for the holidays.

i recently found out that this woman i used to be good friends with is now featured in a porn mag. crazy how the world turns.

explosions in the sky is an amazing band. you should listen to them if you haven't.

*NOW*.

we did staff evaluations today at the dub-c. i was a little nervous, thought it might get ugly, it actually went really well. i realized that i need to work on a few things. for example, i have a real problem with authority that i don't need to be so intense about in this job, because no one is ever trying to tell me how to do things, only offering suggestion sincerely with everyone's best interests in mind. also, i'm very far from transparent, when everyone else is very open with what they are doing at any given time. i really have communication issues at work, that i didn't realize the extent of... work to be done, work to be done...

and now i have 14 hours to write a paper. and sleep. and shower and all of that shit. MADNESS!!! can i do it? maybe, maybe not.... we'll find out, eh?

until next time...

Erotic! Art! Show!

2005-12-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

been awhile since i updated, for which i humbly apologize to all of my loyal readers (hah!).

so, this past friday was the erotic art show, which i've been working on all semester. this was my baby, and i was a huuuuuge success. those of you who were there saw the radness, those of you that weren't, it was rad. there were like 500 people there or something, which was larger than the show has ever been in previous years. there was all sorts of entertainment, which was also new this year, and everyone loved it. except one of my negative ass friends, who could only think about how he though i should have prepared more before i talked on the microphone. whatever. the women's center made $833, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than the show has ever made. of course we divvied up the money, and ended up only keeping like $200, but it was just completely phenomenal. it's like i took the show and made it into this big festive event, and the event ended up surpassing anyone's expectations. i'm still really really stoked about it.

i moved the show to the crux artist collective's gallery this year, which brings me to another point. i'm getting to this place where i can't really handle the people and attitudes of my circle of friends/"community". Everyone is so negative. all that anyone ever does is piss and moan and drink and do nothing. there is no activism, and, even worse, there is no growth of any kind taking place. it was brought to my attention that none of us really have any poignant discussions anymore, to which i commented that the reason is that we've already had all of the discussions we needed to. i think i was wrong. i think that our community needs to have all of these discussions all over again, because everyone has changed, or because everyone has not changed. actually it's probably that some people have changed and others have not. so i'm saying all of this to say that i'm ready to jump ship. i'm tired of this circle, i'm tired of its attitudes, of its elitism, of its lack of progress. i'm tired of its prejudices, its negativity, its stagnance, its boredom, its alcoholism, everything. the only thing i'm not tired of is some of the people on individual levels. once group think comes into play, it's all over though.

so here i am presented with this other community that seems to me to present an opportunity for growth. should i dive in (assuming that they would even have me), and leave behind the old, shedding this stagnant skin, or should i keep one foot in either pool, trying to build bridges and improve everyone's lives in the process, or do i stay where i am, fighting to push us all forwards? is community something that you partake in until it no longer provides benefit or growth, and then move on, or is a community something that you stick with as long as possible, always trying to better it and improve, push it to broader and greater horizons? this ties in with one of my previous posts as well - how important are all of these people to me? do people get privilege simply because we've co-existed for a few years?

at least i'm not alone. it comforts me to know that there are at least a couple of other people vacillating between old and new.

why do the punks hate the artists so much? i don't get the impression that the artists feel the same way about the punks, so why? are not both taking different paths to same end? it seems to me that the punks are focusing on external change and struggle while the artists focus on the internal. aren't both necessary?

...it's time for new skin...

if it was in your ass you'd know what the title was...

2005-11-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year again. i really don't know what that means, i just felt that'd be an appropriate intro to today's rant. was i wrong? did i err? oh. so it's cold outside, the leaves are falling... all of the students are out of town for thansgiving break, leaving the streets inhaling deeply of the unblemished and less psychotic ambience. echoes of their presence still remain, of course, but the streets don't have time to notice the echoes. only to breathe easily for a moment before they return. signs of christmas are popping up everywhere. there're several houses with lights already... obnoxious. xboxes are filling the store shelves, ipods are busily going about the creation of music drones... and punk is Not dead.

and what of the turducken? where does it stand in these ghastly times? only the dog knows. and five days ago a dude in sheboygan, wisconsin was arrested for beating the shit out of his girlfriend with a cactus for making some phone calls he didn't like.

i used to have a friend in sheboygan.

what ever happened to the stars? i got an email the other day telling me to shop to save women. pretty swift. they should make a jackalope - that would be sweet. well, at any rate, no one knows anything about anything. otherwise, we all get along. could you imagine a world in which everyone cared about nothing and no one cared about fashion?

the dude abides. yep, the dude abides.

I'd hunt tweakers too if I could live for free in Hawaii...

2005-11-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

yeah... i'm supposed to be doing homework. um, riiiiight...

i think maybe part of the reason i smoke when i drink is because i get bored. it's like, for the first several beers i'm sitting around waiting to be drunk, so i smoke because drinking to get drunk is usually pretty boring until you actually get drunk. at the make-out party the other night i wasn't bored, so i only smoked one cigarette, and that was after the make out game was winding down and i was sitting out side taking a break. but maybe that's it - if i would have stayed in side i would have had to be dancing or making out and i didn't feel eactly like doing either one of those, so i went outside, but outside, i didn't have a conversation or anything else interesting, so i smoked. because i was bored again. on nights that i don't drink, (which is most often nights that i'm not being social) i have hardly any problem not smoking, but then again, when i'm by myself i hardly ever *ever* get bored. so if i only get bored when i'm with people, does that mean that the people i hang out with are boring? that's a sad thought. i tend to think that the people i hang out with are fairly interesting folk. ah well. maybe they are. who knows?

i was asked how well humans can actually handle being alone, as an argument for the importance of friends. i think that *some* humans can handle solitude remarkably well. do we really need much more than an occassional perfunctory interaction with someone of the same species? do we even need that? i'd probably argue that we don't. think of all the recluses, hermits, survivalists, introverts, and so forth who have little to no contact with other people and who thrive. real friends may be nice, but they are probably only a luxury, not crucial to survival. are friends even something that everyone in the world has access to? is it possible that friendship is a privilege that not all are afforded? of course, there are certainly people who really do need constant contact and interaction with other humans, and for whom frienship is paramount. but i don't think that everyone has these same needs. so maybe instead of asking if people really need friends, which is really an unanswerable question unless you're speaking of and individual person, since everyone lies somewhere different along what is probably a graded scale of how much they need human interaction for survival, perhaps i should ask how much do *i* need friends. answer:

...

...until next time,

The Rev.

all of these things...

2005-11-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

so... things have happened (deep, I know). The Gruk recording went really well, and we should be sending it out to the record pressing people soon. sweet!!! we'll be playing at Fulcrum Records' last show ever on thursday night, which is a sad story. the show should be good though.

Yun Jin (see Blasfemmeity at right) has like another week here and then she's back to Korea. :( we still need to play speed scrabble. and have a star wars marathon. or maybe.. both at the same time! friggin genius...

i've retouched base with an friend who i've been angry with for quite a while... this is a painful process becuse i have to think about personal dynamics, and the entire situation surrounding the deterioration of our friendship, which is the same situation that caused the death of the community i called home here in chico. discussion has been generated again, and wounds are being re-opened and examined. to heal the wounds or cauterize them? cauterization is definitely easier. why heal? how important are individual friendships in the scheme of things? one friendship revived won't resurrect a dead community. the path ahead of all of us who are involved is very cloudy, murky, impossible to figure out how it will all end up either way...

i'm trying to be healthy... there are 100 trillion microorganisms that inhabit every human body. when i live unhealthily, i kill them and myself. when the vast majority of these creatures are there to help me and have co-evolved with me and without which my body could not function (or at least not as well), it seems cruel to not honor that relationship by providing a hospitable living environment for all of them and for my own cells. i'm trying to quit smoking. i quit and then revised the quitting to only smoking when i'm drinking. i think the next step is to dramatically reduce the amount of alcohol i consume... and physically using my body for the things it's designed to do instead of leading a primarily sedentary lifestyle is absolutely critical as well. that part is going to e difficult. we'll see how it goes...

i gotta go to a meeting for the radio station, which by the way, is not going to be royally screwed, since the university decided to allocate it the neccesary funds to move it into a new home today, which is freaking sweet! anyways, till next time, go veg!

I would like to remove my face and scrape out the inside.

2005-11-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

Yeah. Sinus pressure. Hmm... Haven't updated in a while. I'm recording a record with Gruk tomorrow. Fuckin awesome. This will be a first for me and i"m really friggin excited. PFR!!!

Yun Jin is Home!!!! unfortunately the stay will be too short, but some is better than none, right? also she gave me this really cool stamp that has my name in Korean. sweet.

so there may yet be hope for our sad little music scene here. fulcrum records, arguably the glue holding it all together, is closing/closed, which sucks. but, the art community may be willing to take us under their wings! members of one of the art collectives here in chico (whaddup crux kids!) are trying to open a big ass warehouse in downtown, and therein would like to have a permanent stage where they could have music. apparently some members of the music community aren't into cooperating with the artist community, and therefore aren't into building community, but i say fuck 'em - let them have all of their shows in their living rooms for all i care.

to be continued... i have to go to a meeting...

2005-10-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

"Mark your calendar. You can expect to die on:

Wednesday, May 13th 2037
At the tender age of 56 years old.
On that date, you will most likely die from:
Alcoholism (17%)
Electrolysis (10%)
Heart Attack (7%)
Contagious Disease (5%)"

That's what the death test says. I can dig that. 56 sounds like a cool age. But I imagine when I'm 55 I'll probably want to go on longer than 56... whatever... at least i know i probably won't quit drinking...

what's really going on?

2005-10-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

who the fuck knows? i'm in this wierd place right now. I am way busier than maybe i've ever been, and i have maybe more responsibility than i've ever had. every day feel like i am becoming more and more wrapped up in my own world. is this ok?
one thing i'm taking as a sign of this is that lately i've been paying attention to how many times i start an utterance or turn at speaking with the word "I". survey says.. a LOT. i'm so often about me. i'm trying to counteract this consciously, but often times i find i don't know what else to talk about other than myself or my experiences. i'm thinking this means i need to go back into my silent self. i'm so comfortable in the women's center, which is good since i kind of have to spend all of my time there, but i just let fly all the time whereas before i wouldn't speak nearly as much. i remember being afraid that this lack of talking would be a problem when i got hired and said as much, and i was told that my waiting and thinking things through before speaking was an asset. but i don't do that any more. why is that? what has changed?
it's weird... something is different about my life right now... today i found myself thinking that instead of the life that i have now, it'd be nice to live a life like my roommate's, where i go to work for however many hours a week, adn when i'm done, i come home and can do whatever with my time because i have no further obligations or responsibilities other than the ones I create for myself (say, social responsibilities, to, say, not drive a car for example). this seemed like a truly viable path to me for a moment. but that canNOT become my life. it seems so much easier though.
another instance of fucked-up-etry was the other day, when i was playing with my friends little 7 month old baby - i actually desired to have a child of my own for a moment. Now, bear in mind that this is one of the core beliefs that i shape my self and ideals around. I will not breed. I hate the human species, five sixths of us should die, the planet is overrun and can't handle our kind for much longer, and i WILL NOT contribute to this travesty. and yet there i was, totally wanting this little adorable child to be my own. was this some animalistic instinct? i should be better than that. what is one of the purposes of the mind if not to prove itself superior than the will of the body.
these are all indicators, small, perhaps subtle, but still indicators, that something is askew in my universe. i feel a little more crazy (like the insane kind of crazy, not the wild and crazy kids kind of crazy), a little less grounded, a little more off kilter than usual. i'm overwhelmed again.
and yet i see so many people who are completely capabale of managing a life like mine and even more - people with 7 classes, jobs, 4 extracurricular type activities, and whatever else, and they don't seem to be feeling like they're losing control. Ahh. There it is, maybe i feel like i'm losing control of the direction of my life. i figured if i typed long enough some salient feature would present itself.
also i'm feeling unable to create right now, and though the quantity of my creative output has been reduced for some time now, right now i feel like there's a serious deficiency. all of these things, all of these things... and this is only the half of it...

So, apparently I am

2005-10-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

FACT: You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship".

The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)

Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.

You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.

Your exact opposite:
The Billy Goat

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer

You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph

CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test

?????!!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!

2005-10-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY EYE?!?!?!?!? WHY WON'T IT COME OUT??!???! AND WHY THE HELL AM I SNEEZING?!!!!!!!!????? AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Have a nice day!

So

2005-09-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

it's been quite a while... a bunch of shit's happened, some maybe important, other things not so much. I finally played my first show with Gruk, and it was pretty off the hook. I split the set with Turtle and and i think it's pretty safe to say we fucked shit up. Next month we have like 6 shows already booked, which is frickin ridiculous. Highlights - October 18th we are playing with none other than Millions of Dead Cops!!!! Fuck yeah! I'm still pretty much in total disbelief that I'll be sharing the stage with one of the greatest punk bands of all time.

That reminds me, somewheres in the neighborhood of October 16th I'm bringing KRS-1 himself to Chico!!!! Through a crazy chance turn of events I find myself in a position to actually make things happen here on campus, and through another crazy-ass set of events, the ability to put on a hip-hop show with KRS-1 landed in my lap. Can somebody say 'Hell Yeah!' ? So I get to go from putting on a show with one of the greatest hip-hop artists of all time and then two days later sharing the stage with one of the greatest punk rock bands of all time. Jeeezzzzus.

Speaking of music, I've got a couple of other bands waiting to come to fruition - a Rock'n'Roll band with some cats I know (Kelley of We Bite, Ian of The Nogoodnix and The Makai, Ben, who's a great musician but as of yet has never played in a band, and possibly Jeff of Gruk (my band as well), Matt Mundane of Zabaleen, and Ian (see above). I'll update as those two projects progress...

One more music thing: i have a radio show now on the campus radio station, and i'm having some fun with it. Check it out on Tuesdays from 6-8PM PST at The Rev.'s Revue.

So yeah, there's been other shit going on as well, for the most part shit's tight, except my computer's broken, but i got shit to do, so i'll leave it at that for now. let me leave you with one priceless morsel:

A Babel fish is a highly improbable biological universal translator. It appears as a "small, yellow and leechlike" fish. When a Babel fish is inserted into the ear canal it allows the wearer to "instantly understand anything said... in any form of language." This was both a useful plot device for Adams, who wrote on the subject that he always found the ability of all aliens to speak English very strange; and also the starting point for a joke about the existence of God.

According to the Hitchhiker's Guide, the Babel fish was put forth as a fideist example for the non-existence of God:

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. Q.E.D."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

Hogwash

2005-08-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

Rules imposed from external sources are bullshit.

There is no reality other than my own reality right now.

If time is a spiral, everything is everything else, all at the same time.

I hate you, and I think you should die. Me too.

You are god (whatever that is or is not), and so am I.

Our continued existence is a never-ending act of blasphemous defiance of all that is sacred and holy.

Go outside. Find a rock. Any rock, doesn't matter what size. Now take a good and long look at it. Realize and then burn into your consciousness that the rock you hold is infinitely more important than you are. (me too)

Think about all this, fuck off, and promptly cease to exist. Happy Trails!

pirates of the mendocino forest

2005-08-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

So yeah, Libertatia. Wow. Lots of expectations, most weren't fulfilled, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. One word to sum it all up: fucked up. I think had my first beer open within like 10 seconds of getting out of the van on friday night when we got there. it took like 2 seconds to find Camp Chico, which was rad and totally not expected. We were in a forest, which was rad and totally not expected, and there wasn't nearly as many people as i thought there would be (like maybe 150 instead of 2000), which was not necessarily rad, but not necessarily shitty, but also unexpected. We drank the night away friday night, but the chico contingent that got there on thursday was all xhausted and passing out, so our numbers were small... at some point i wandered off to my tent and then....

SOMEBODY STARTED PLAYING FUCKING REVEILLE AT LIKE 6 FUCKING THIRTY IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING. I was livid until I realized that it was actually really fucking funny. at any rate, i was up early saturday. we were all groggy and shit, but there was drinking to be done! i think i might have made it until like 9:30 or something, maybe MAYBE 10:30 before starting to put down the PBR. Not bad. Oh yeah - over night josh slept on top of the van and then fell off and broke his wrist and climbed into the wrong van and got locked inside and couldn't get out for hours. at some point during the day i started watching bands, and did lots more drinking and hanging out and drinking and bands and drinking and some food and drinking and bands. i saw population reduction - pretty rad. i talked to krystal a bunch, she was kind of on circle fringe like i was often times, and otherwise on saturday i just got really drunk, almost got in a massive brawl, saw the best (worst?) Botox set ever, shyla showed up with some other chico women, I got really more drunk, talked shit about almost all of my friends, and passed out.
Sunday i felt like hell. yay! but whatever. there was a treasure hunt, and chico team won! for some reason i was the team leader, which was stupid, but timmy turtle found the box, which was cool. it had assorted rums and toys and stickers and things in it. sweet. gruk was supposed to play, and i was supposed to play, but brad was too fuckin wasted to play the bass and gruk tried to play, but all they did was make stupid noise for a half hour. fuck yeah for punk rock. i actually left the stage area like three times because i couldn't bear to watch it. brad hit timmy in the face with a drum stick, and timmy socked brad in the face, and then gruk was pretty much done. after that i just waited around to go home. woo!

today fuckin school started. i slept really hard last night, but like 75% of my body is still sore from libertatia. i had an advisory board meeting this morning for the women's center, which was intimidating, to say the least, but, not as bad as i thought. i just talked to my little sister and she moved into the dorms yesterday. my little sister is becoming all growed up. and now, here we are.

fuck

2005-08-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

i have a severe case of veisalgia at the moment. i smashed my face into the window sill last night, and my face hurts. i smashed my finger into the ground last night, and my finger hurts. i was angry last night. angry at everything that i can't control. angry at everything i can't change. angry at a general sense of impotence... dangerous feelings...

Broken hearts want broken necks
I've done some things that I want to forget but I can't
Broke my pace and ran out of time
Sometimes I'm so full of shit that it should be a crime
Broke a promise cause my car broke down
Such a classic excuse it should be bronze by now
Broke up, and I'm relieved somehow
It's the end of the discussions that just go round and round
And round, and round, and round, and round,
And round, and round it shouldn't have been anyway

-modest mouse

i found...

2005-08-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

this when i was cleaning a bunch of shit out of my desk last night...

There is no god, or is there?
Is there?
A god?
Gods?
There were, but now they're all dead.

Or are they? Dead? All of them?
Could they be asleep?
Nope.
They're all dead.
Just plain dead.

They're all a bunch of assholes.

If everyone forgot about god, would it die?

2005-08-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

I came across this little morsel that i wrote a few years back. still completely relevant...

Sometimes I feel like rodents are trying to take over the world. Take prairie dogs. I mean, they have underground tunnel networks spanning whole states, and they have little sentinal prairie dogs thumping and chattering alarms. I've even seen some popping out of random holes in the middle of fucking Denver! Then there's squirrels. You can't deny the inherent evilness of squirrels. These little fuckers sit in trees and hurl walnuts at cars and rooftops. What the fuck?! They even fuck up some car on an insurance commercial. In fact, a couple months back I read a news article about some fucking squirrels in England terrorizing kids! [update: the recent horrifying squirrel scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory furthers this theory...] And rabbits. I mean, have you ever actually looked a rabbit in the eye? Fucking evil incarnate. And rats - these little fuckers can fit through a hole the size of a quarter and tread water for hours! Do you really think the rodent nation is really going to sit by and just LET us experiment on them? Fuck no! We're talking full blown world domination plots here man, real fuckin' scary shit. Just wait, some day we'll all be dead and these scurvy bastards will be sitting on top of the food chain. Just wait...

Hah! That shit's fuckin hilarious.

today's waste of time

2005-08-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

so instead of doing anything productive, i've decided to waste most of today playing with my flash design program. here's the product of today's worthless intent...

Yeah... what he said...

2005-08-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

This dude rocks...

will you catch me if i'm falling?

2005-08-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just don't know... Sometimes when I defend my views, whether it's just a little bit of defensive or full blown siege mode, I wonder who I'm trying to convince that they're ok. It's not that I'm trying ever to convince people to think what I think, I could give a fuck less what people think, it's that I try to explain why it's ok for me to think what I think. why should I have to do that? why is it that people can't just understand that diversity of thought is not a negative thing, and agree to live and let live? I've articulated this for a while, but only today after a discussion I had last night have I realized that i've completely given up on 'the revolution'. Personal revolution is all that's possible. All we can do is live in the manner that we think best based on the situations we've been placed in and/or placed ourselves in, allow our lifestyles to inspire other people, and be available when people become ready to change of their own accord. There is no way to change anyone but oneself, and people will only change if they have reached a juncture on their path where they are ready to change. From this it follows (perhaps loosely and moreso in my fractured cerebral processes than elsewhere) that one shouldn't do anything except what one wants to do. Whose needs are more important than mine? when i could sit here and argue that every other person or living thing in the world doesn't exist, or I could argue that I *AM* every other person and living thing in the world, how could it be correct to do anything BUT everything that is in my best interests? i guess the theory goes that a person of increasing consciousness goes from doing everything for themselves at the beginning to doing everything for everyone else during expansion, then everything for themselves when they realize that they can't do anything for anyone else, then back to doing everything for everyone else when they realize it's in their best personal interest to better the lives of others. I'm very much in that third phase. I think most people I know are in the second phase with a few in the third phase and even fewer in the fourth phase. It's kind of depressing, but it's slightly less stressful to not feel the entire weight of the world on the shoulders... it's like the fuckin matrix in this world. open your eyes and learn shit, and you can't ever go back. ignore all the shit, and keep your surface bliss.

I don’t want to be mean.
I don’t want to be cruel,
But sometimes I feel I’ve got to drink till I drool,
And take all the weight of the world from my shoulders
and Put it on you.

Oh I’m nauseated by nice
I’d like to be kind
Oh but I’m starting to feel
Like I’m losing my mind
I’m surrounded by plastic and sunshine
And it’s just to good to be true.

i just heard that floater song and i liked those lyrics...

mother, mother may i cry
father will you teach me how to die the right way someday
i don't want a second chance to turn my stuttering reluctance into romance
with these documents and kindergarten anthems with my drunken liturgies
tune the fm in to static and pretend its the sea
but forward fumble for the microphone
you should of known

that's the weakerthans. i like those ones too...

10:46

2005-08-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

Mr. Picassohead is pretty freakin cool. also artPad. who-hoo! I slept for hecka hours last night and I haven't had anything to drink in like 32 hours so I'm feeling kind of odd... anyways, yeah. Hooray for Tuesday?

Oh yeah, I got my key to the Women's Center yesterday, so now I can officially take over - MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
...just kidding... or am I?... *snicker*

Bicycles and beer...

2005-07-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

Last night was a Skidz ride - fun! I won once at dodgeball which hasn't happened for a while, and we had a pretty good crew. Lots of the oldies were out - Land-fucking-fill, Raw Sewage, Mojo, Softy, The Rustler, myself - Toejam, Lopito, Stinger, and a bunch of the better newer riders were out too - The Captain, The Finger, Launchpad, Piccolo, Sweatervest, others. A bunch of us went to one mile to go swimming, which I did not do, but everyone was having fun. I don't know where I got the energy to be up all night though, night before last I was drinking with Brad until 4:45 in the morning, only to be woken up to deal with my yard sale at 8:30. Fucking ridiculous. The yard sale made like $7.75. We gave a bunch of shit away for free, but the sale pretty much sucked... anyways...

Scribles asked me to think about drumming for Gruk after Timmy Turtle moves to Hawaii in a couple months - fuckin crazy!! I wouldn't have imagined I could play with Gruk. He said they're talking about touring Europe next summer too, which would be fucking incredible. I don't know if I'm good enough to drum for them, but he thinks so. It's just matter of increasing my speed really, which I think I can do. I swear - it's like you pick up a drum kit and a pair sticks in this town and make yourself available to play and the offers just keep rolling. That's three offers to drum since I got booted from the Shankers like a month ago. If they all pan out it'd be freakin rad. That reminds me, the line up for Brad's hardcore band is finally complete - Brad on vocals, Matt Mundane on bass, G-Oh on Guitar, and myself on drums. Now Brad and G-oh just need to sit down and write a couple songs and we'll be rockin! Should be cool.

Matt's going to give me pretty much whatever I want for a radio show at KCSC this fall, which is pretty freakin rad. I think I'm going to showcase a different genre every week, but I'll probably only do a one hour show instead of a two. I can't fuckin wait.

Libertatia is going to fuckin rock. Way more of my friends are going than I thought, so it should be a completely bitchin time. More on that later.

It's like 100,000 degrees and my skin is melting off of my bones and gumming up the keyboard, so I'm going swimming.

Peace, Love, Anarchy

my stomach is angry...

2005-07-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but this sucks. i feel like i could puke at any second. i'd like to remove my gut, turn it inside out, scrape the whole thing out so whatever is bothering it would be gone. i must have eaten something that didn't work well with me , but i don't know what. i woke up at like 7:30 feeling terrible, and tossed and turned for another three hours, trying to sleep. it's like, i could lay on my back, and be fine, but as soon as i tried to lay on my side, shit was fucked. sitting up doesn't feel that great either. DAMMIT! ah well.

well, fuck a whole lot of that. last night was the red robot's last show ever. very cool, but i was feeling so weird and i was so tired that i nodded off a few times during their set. oh well, it was rad any ways, they're one of the best local bands i've ever seen.

me and talula took a trip to eagle lake yesterday, which was really fun. it's always a pleasure to get out of town, and even more so to do it with someone who appreciates it for a lot of the same reasons as you do. we found this really cool piece of shit that had all of these bones in it - totally awesome. we swam, and found rocks, and picked some flower-like things, and generally had a good time. hopefully we can road trip again soon.

well, my gut feels like it's going to explode, so i'm out.

The Absurdity of Sobriety

2005-07-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

So, after going on about a week long bender (well, six nights out of seven, at any rate), yesterday I spent the whole day - in fact, i'm well past the 24 hour mark by now - without drinking. And what would cause me to embark on such a fantastic journey of debauchery, overflowing with copious quantities of controlled beverages? Allow me to elucidate you as to the delicious line up of special events that came crashing down all at once...

Wednesday: El Q came into town for the express purpose of hitting up buck night at one of our favorite watering holes... needless to say, several bucks were spent.
Thursday: PigPen, another drinking buddy who happens to work at a local microbrew and comes home with multiple cases of delectable ale on a regular basis, was trying to find people to help him imbibe the 100+ organic porters he brought home. Who am I to not answer such a call?
Friday: Yet another drinking buddy was drinking in rembrance of someone, and she kick started the evening with a bottle of Maker's Mark. Once I have one whiskey in me, a second one sounds so nice, and after that, well, might as well keep rolling right? A band we knew was playing their last show also, and we ended up hitting up the after party, which carried on to the wee hours of the morning...
Saturday: A couple of friends were having a going away party, since they are abandoning this veritable oasis in the middle of nowhere and moving down to the armpit of the state. There was a keg, some bands played, good times. After that, I rolled to a bar by my house to check out this band i thought sounded cool, and ended up running into a guy whose acquaintance i had made about a year earlier, and who seemed like a really cool person, but, through the whole whatever of life, we lost touch. anyways, we're supposed to do dinner soon, should be cool.
Sunday: i went down to Sacramento, because my favorite cousin and her husband and daughters, who i also love a bunch, decided to move to Arizona, and were having their going away party. i think between three of us we killed around 40 beers.
Monday: what was exciting about the drinking from Sunday night, was that we all had to get up at 10 in the morning and load up the 24-footer with all of my cousins' shit, so they could hit the road. we knocked it out in like an hour and a half, but with the hangover and the 100 and some-odd degree weather, i was pretty much done for. later that afternoon i got picked up by El Q and his mom to go down to yosemite. didn't drink monday night, because by the time we got to the hotel we were crashing at, me and El couldn't find a bar that was open. We tried, but whatever, i was hella tired anyways, so i slept.
Tuesday: Went to the annual memorial service for someone very dear to me down in yosemite. she also happened to be El's sister, so shortly after we got back to chico, we commenced with the drinking. i got really fuckin tore back. woo.

That brings us to yesterday, which was wednesday. lot's of food and water and not alcohol yesterday. El's mom and him crashed at my pad tuesday night, so El's mom made us biscuits and gravy in the morning. her biscuits and gravy are like the best in the world, i'm pretty sure. anyways, they rolled out, and i proceeded to recover. last night David Rovics came to Chico for some reason, which was frickin awesome. i wasn't really sure about him because i thought he was like a major hippie, but his set was really fuckin cool. the flag burning song and the ELF song were probably my favorites, but they were all good. I was playing pool after the show and I got recruited by this girl meredith that i know to play drums for her band, The Femininjas. seriously, how fuckin rad is that band name? if this shit pans out, i'll be flippin stoked. I just got this sudden urge to brush my teeth, so i'm gonna do that. till whenever...

Cool site for the day: Guide to Lock Picking

Self-annhilating sentence for the day:

People who like this sort of thing will find it just the sort of thing they like.
---Abraham Lincoln

I did it again...

2005-07-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

since myspace got bought by rupert murdoch, and shyla says all the cool people are on blogspot, here i am. stay tuned for more from my world...